


the astray souls' dream

by Laeana



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Championships, Developing Relationship, Domestic Disputes, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mercedes F1 team, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Talking, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:33:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29113839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana
Summary: The signing of the contract comes on a rainy Thursday. Nicolas Hülkenberg joins the Mercedes F1 team while having 24 years old.Alongside Nico Rosberg.
Relationships: Nico Hulkenberg/Nico Rosberg
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	the astray souls' dream

**Author's Note:**

> as a word, I should probably thank the gc that helped me with details and parts ... and without them I probably wouldn't have started this project kept in my head for too long.   
> Have a nice reading !

The signing of the contract comes on a rainy Thursday. Nicolas Hülkenberg joins the Mercedes F1 team while having 24 years old. Alongside Nico Rosberg. The news is going around the world faster than he is back in his new home, about fifteen minutes from its new headquarters.

Nico greets him with a Colgate smile and says he's already ready to show him the best places in the area and he doesn't even have time to tell him between clenched teeth that he's no stranger to the-said region. 

He knows that the other German must probably try to show himself in his best light but for him it frankly does not work. He pretty much abhors this already. He knows not to be hostile but he also knows that he is the new member of the team, that he is starting a little behind his colleague.

There is media pressure around and, yes, he will make sure to get along well with his teammate two years his senior. But that doesn’t mean that they have to be best friends either.

* * *

Nico helps him put the last cardboard boxes inside. He's almost ashamed to admit it, but he's been a huge help. He can’t deny that.

“A coffee, a tea, something to drink ?” he asks, politely.

“And why not, make peace ?”

He looks at his guest, mouth open, for a moment, perhaps less subtle than he thought. Who can blame him after all.

“It's not like we're at war.”

“If for you that is not being at war, I would like to know what it is like when you really are.”

The suggestion makes him roll his eyes, honestly what. Half amused only. He serves two cups of coffee and brings them back to his namesake regardless. The latter raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t ask anything.”

“Are you going to refuse what your host offers you ?”

“When you put it like that …”

Nico offers him a suggestive wink before starting to drink and he has to look away. He always has to look away. It's not … that he's an unattractive person to admire. Quite the contrary, to be honest. But he knows that there is nothing good in developing more than friendly relations with his colleague.

After a little moment of silence, a smile spread across the lips of the other German who tilts his head to the side :

“Did you remember what I was drinking ?”

“I …”

Nico did everything automatically, without thinking about it. And maybe that’s the baddest thing of it all. He had only been made aware of his compatriot's preferences once, during their first meeting at the Mercedes headquarters … having memorized it in spite of himself makes him blush slightly. He hides it all with a cough.

“Simple coincidence.”

“Oh a coincidence ? How interesting.”

He ignores the remark and his desire to drown in his cup of coffee and gives him a bright smile, his greatest one, as if ignoring everything that has just been insinuated.

When Nico leaves and that he finds himself cleaning their two cups, he desperately hopes to forget the way he added a cloud of milk and a sugar to this coffee. Like an automatism, independently from his will.

* * *

Nicolas Rosberg is the first to win a Grand Prix between them two. Of course. Not so surprising, he guesses. Nico finds himself applauding in spite of himself and when his teammate takes him in his arms as he comes to congratulate him, he does not refuse the embrace.

He is not yet close enough to him for his liking. When it comes about racing, of course. 

He doesn't want an apology or a pat on the back to reassure him, no. Pity was never his thing. He thirsts for victories and equal opportunities. He's afraid that even though he has the right car, he just won't turn out to be good enough. Let the rumor about him turn out to be true. His curse.

He has to run after podiums, victories, championships. And for that, he has to be better than better. He must do better. That’s something never quite leaving his head, always there even when he closes his eyes. His time.

Hotel room in Melbourne. The heat finally begins to drop slightly with the advent of night, almost more breathable.

There is noise and someone is knocking on his door when he is not expecting anyone. Weird, he doesn’t know what to expect. When he opens, Nico stands behind, with beers as an offering.

He raises an eyebrow but lets him in. Here's the thing, it seems they never refuse each other anything. To one another.

“You know, you're going to get there. You are almost there, a lot of things await you. You don't have to be worried about it.” The other German begins after a certain silence.

He can't help but reply sharply, flicking open his beer,

“As if you really meant those words.”

All around them, again, silence. He caused it this time, he can't complain about it. He doesn’t complain about it. But still. Nico swallows a good part of his drink in one go, he watches him do it, before resuming absently, in a soft voice :

“I don't know who you take me for, Nico. But I think you probably have a bad image of me. I'm not here to wage war on you, at least not yet, not now. You will probably be my worst opponent, the teammate always is, but I don't want to have a bad relationship with you. It's sincere.”

He waits a few seconds, waits for the moment when the older one will burst out laughing and tell him he's too naive to believe it. To have believed it. But it doesn't happen. And he must face the facts that, by dint of being on the defensive, he may have overlooked the fact that not everyone is going to put a damper on him.

He takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. With a certain daring, a little crazy, he looks at his comrade, with more complicity than he has had since the beginning, their beginning, since their meeting.

“Maybe it's up to you to change my mind then.”

* * *

No matter what may happen between them, Nico will never, ever, have a particular importance in the life of Nicolas Rosberg. That’s just the truth, for him at least. Their closeness makes him forget that they have to spend time together because of the work, and only because of it.

But it's not a real relationship, it's nothing at all.

No matter how far he travels and takes and tries and goes for it, Lewis will always have too much importance in the eyes of the other German. An importance that he will never equal and cannot even claim to equal. They've known each other far too long for that. And them ? vaguely for some weeks, maybe some month.

Also, he tries to swallow his disappointment when Nico declines his invitation after a Grand Prix. Because he's already busy with Lewis.

He sometimes wonders, with a cynicism unlike him, that’s a bit too out of character, if the two are sleeping together.

In the meantime, he remains alone in his hotel room, preparing his suitcases, decided to go home even earlier than expected. Coming back to his house. Far from it all and far from anything that can harm him. His personal haven of peace, formulated differently. He needs to go home.

He should just stop thinking about Nico.

* * *

Nico has already made podiums. He doesn't know what to expect. He didn’t know what to expect until there, until now. The adrenaline seems so strong to him, it’s really weird to say, it hits him more. He just won a race. Goddamnit. Hey, he won a race, why does it seem so unreal ?

He wants to jump into the crowd. He jumps into the crowd of his mechanics, his team and finds himself carried by it. They sing his name. A victory, finally !

He feels like he has waited so long when the season is not so advanced. This seems too late, this seems so late. He wanted it, he craved for it. He had the perfect race, the perfect start. He put all the chances on his side and here he is, in that same year, winner of a Grand Prix. 

The German anthem, for him, for him !, on the top step of the podium. He wipes his eyes more than once, teary, a bit too emotional. Then the champagne. Nico and Daniel spray him and he doesn't put up any resistance, contenting himself to remain standing, before responding in turn. 

He laughs, almost euphoric. Then there's the picture, where they stand next to each other, and as they pull away, his teammate holds him back by the elbow, a smile on his lips, looking just as happy as he is, so happy, delighted :

“We have to celebrate, right ? I'll come get you, I … it’s something to celebrate.”

Said from the tip of his lips. Hesitant, shy, further than anything that came between them. He nods sharply, without thinking more about the fact that it is not wise, that it is even strange to be carried away by this victory to the point of lowering all his barriers.

He doesn't think about it, yes. He might regret it afterwards, but he doesn't think about it, nor does he ignore the warmth that spreads in his stomach.

* * *

He's a little more down to earth when someone knocks on his door. Well, someone, who is he kidding, Nico knocks on his door. It's a certainty.

He nervously put on a shirt to look presentable and tries to wipe all traces of nervousness from his face ; wasted effort.

But Nico, in front of him, does not lead off. He who usually radiates confidence gives him an almost shy smile on seeing him, but gentle, so gentle. A sweetness that seems new to him, to them.

“I thought you weren't coming.” He said, drawing a laugh from his teammate.

“I, uh, had to push myself to come.”

“Am I making you nervous ?”

“You are … surprising. Beyond everything I know, I can't read you and no matter how much I try, you're still … you don't believe me.”

The confession puts an amused smile on his features. Because it's the first time that Nico has admitted his helplessness and it's as if a barrier is breaking between them. 

He nods and retrieves his jacket. He never believed that of all that could have happened, it would be his way of acting that would forge something else between them. If he’s ready to admit that there is actually something between them.

“So are you going out ?”

The other German, as if out of his trance, blinks.

“Oh yes.”

Nico grabs his hand and he bites the inside of his cheek to avoid blushing.

* * *

The evening is pleasant. Because Nico's hand lands on his and he drowns in his gaze, without even thinking about it. They maintain a closeness while staying away from each other, a gap that they cannot close, not now. 

And it's trivial how they can have a conversation about small, trivial matters, like they can talk about their family. From their childhoods, from what they have in common to their differences.

It may be liberating.

“Bravo again, Nico. Well done, I'm proud …” his teammate shakes his head, searching for his words more than necessary “I'm happy for you. You deserve it. I'm sure more is waiting for you, so much more.”

“Why … why are you complimenting me so much ? I can't seem to know.”

The other German lowers his eyes, before shrugging his shoulders.

“I don't know myself.”

“Do you know we're supposed to be … rivals ?”

“It doesn't stop us from having a good relationship, does it ?”

Nico has a charming smile for him. He would like to believe that it is possible but the fear remains. The idea, almost haunting that he knows best. And when he will become a danger ? And when it will all be too much ? They can’t face everything with that same behavior. 

It’s not sure that a relationship can survive all these hazards. 

“For the time being.” He corrects his interlocutor who raises an eyebrow.

“You are incredibly pessimistic.”

“Realistic you mean, realistic.”

And above all, it allows him to keep a margin. One moment. It allows him to be outside of whatever happens to him and if it happens to him … he won't be hurt as much by expecting it. By already having thought about it. 

Always the same posture adopted. Prudence. With Nico it is better to be careful. It’s one of his first rules.

And when Nico sends him a smile that is a little too bright, rekindling a flame inside his chest, he says to himself that he is truly right.

* * *

They fall into a kind of comfortable routine every time they get back to England and it's strange to say. They spend time together, on purpose, and Nico wants to show him around the region and he doesn't have the heart to say no to him. Observe his enthusiasm with amusement and, yes surely, a little tenderness. He has it in his chest, somewhere.

It's crazy how much time they can spend together after all. 

Nico always thought they wouldn't get along particularly well. After all, Nico Rosberg looks impressive at first glance and a little too good to be true. He just had to switch languages to impress him. And that’s it.

He is content to speak about three languages and that is enough for him. 

And it's also funny how, he's noticed repeatedly, his teammate can find it hard to resist him. Or more trouble than before, he doesn't really know. He doesn’t really know but it also makes it his strength.

He sits on the sofa in the other German's living room, a smile on his features, while the master of the house is busy with he doesn’t know what task. A sigh escapes him, just audible enough.

“I want to eat.”

They are approaching dinner. Nico raises an eyebrow, looking at him from over his computer.

“I've already shown you enough places like this. And then you have a car. You can very well go and get some food on your own.”

It is true that the oldest one made him discover excellent restaurants that he didn’t know before and he is grateful to him for that. Reluctant at first, he ended up delighted. The answer doesn’t satisfy him, however.

“What if I don't want to ?”

“Well that's not my problem. Why do you keep squatting my house ?”

He lets out a small laugh and observes how Nico's head rises as fast as he hears the sound, his big blue eyes widening slightly.

“As if you mind that I'm here.”

His teammate growls in frustration before putting his computer down and shutting it down, leaping to his feet. He already knows he won. Irresistible, he said. He is really irresistible.

“Very well but this is the last time. And you pay.”

Another laugh escapes him as he follows Nico outside, to his car.

* * *

Dinners with Nico, he learns, are always incredibly entertaining. Because the other man manages to put him at ease one way or another and they go on to the most random topics of conversation that suddenly get kind of interesting. He feels like Nico could make anything interesting and that he would listen.

Every time they're together, he knows he's going to have a good time. This is confirmed, as their proximity and their complicity grow. It's nice to have someone to lean on and someone close to you to talk to. 

Someone who also listens. This is probably the most important. Be listened to in return. 

There is always this little thing that Nico does each time they arrive in a restaurant. After asking a little too elegantly for their tables and inviting him to sit down, he always left a derogatory comment, contrasting with the attitude so polite he had just had. And that, to make him laugh, of course. To relax him.

And he likes to think that Nico has developed special habits for him, that he has thought about himself, even just a little. Even just a little is enough for him.

He knows they won't be more than that but seeing a premise of great friendship in the midst of what might not have been does him great good.

He has never refused an invitation to eat with him ever since.

* * *

Somewhere, a little before the middle of the season, Monaco arrives. And with Monaco, this custom and elegance that flow from it. He knows that Nico has an apartment in the city, which is not surprising, he has one too. It was almost mandatory.

Going on a fashion show is fun in itself, but he would have much preferred to leave it to others. It is not his role to model and even if he does it for some brands, he is still not the most comfortable with it, that’s really not his thing.

It bothers him a bit.

A makeup artist applies another layer of foundation to his skin, he's almost sure he can't feel it anymore under all that makeup. He looks around for other pilots and finds them chatting quietly. They are not all there, some are missing, he really has to learn to slip away from these kinds of events.

He loosely undoes his tie and passes a hand through his hair, which already contains a little too much gel for his liking. And maybe that's too much, this atmosphere around him sticks to him, he grimaces. That’s not right.

He needs more air and he just doesn't have the time. He should have gotten used to it more, the sequins, the gold, the diamonds. It is his daily life. It is his everyday life. It is all he signed for.

His hands are shaking and he is almost frustrated when he tries to retie the knot in his tie and fails. He growls, taking a deep breath. 

“Come on, let me help you.”

Nico grabs him by the shoulders and with an expert gesture arranges his outfit. The scene seems oddly domestic, and when his teammate is done and steps back, a proud smile on his face, he can't help but smile back.

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome, I felt you needed a little help.”

He nods, without really feeling offended, just maybe a little reassured by the presence of the older one by his side. If the latter realizes it, he doesn’t say anything. Silence, as often, is one of their too many companions. 

“You really look like you were born for this.” He lets out without thinking. 

It's sincere. Nico is splendid, his costume marrying the shapes of his body to perfection. He radiates confidence, as he often does. Perfection, beauty, yes.

“Do you know that a suit looks great on you too ?”

“Stop with your politeness.” he laughs softly but, in front of him, the other pilot frowns.

“No, I … I was sincere. It fits you well. You're very … handsome, uh … hell, Nico, just accept the compliments.”

The embarrassment visible on his comrade's features would almost make him blush in his turn. What are they doing ? He shakes his head, an answer ready to leave his lips when they are called to order :

“The show is about to begin !”

He sees with disbelief, Nico recompose a professional air without any harm, and tries somehow to do the same.

Now is not the time to think about the why and the how. Why is it that he can now destabilize Nico so easily and how is it possible. He’s able to do it, he already has seen it, but it seems more and more obvious each time.

He feels a little too satisfied with it.

* * *

He meets Nico in Monaco for the first time during the break of the season. Most of the time they met on a voluntary basis, often in England after Mercedes meetings. It’s unexpected, but it’s a good thing.

Seeing him without having planned it seems pleasant to him in a different way.

He walks Zeus and smiles at the enthusiasm his dog brings to the walk. The vision warms his heart. He can't always be there to take care of his dog because of the races so he's happy to be able to find time for it.

He sits on a bench and Zeus barks happily before pulling on his leash when a brown dog comes into their line of sight. Its owner seems to have trouble holding it back.

And when he looks up, said owner is Nico.

“Oh, hi.”

They chuckle a little before Nico drops to his side. Together, they watch their dogs have fun, in comfortable silence. It almost seems comforting for him.

“Is the break going well for you ?”

He nods and his teammate moves slightly, as if they have more to say but can't necessarily say it out loud. They can’t bring themselves to talk fully, how weird does that seem.

“How long are you staying in Monaco ?”

“At least a week … I hesitate to go back to Germany a little bit, see my family and all that.”

Nico nods before getting up.

“Keep me updated !”

And as quickly as the German arrived, he goes, leaving him quite surprised by this lightning visit.

* * *

Nico has almost finished packing his suitcase, he keeps his mother's message on his phone. He planned everything, that’s it. He allows himself a passage in Germany before having to return to England and he doesn’t plan further for the moment. 

The ringing of his door almost makes him jump. He grimaces and goes to open the door. His teammate walks into his apartment and throws a pair of shoes and a coat in his face, without even letting him have time to recover from his surprise.

“Hurry !”

“Good evening to you too, Nico.”

The other German, returning to the entrance, freezes.

“Yes, good evening. Now can you hurry ?”

He laughs but does what is asked of him then Nico grabs him by the wrist (he hardly has time to close his door) and pulls him after him into his car. Then their journey begins.

“Wait, are you kidnapping me ?”

“You’re noticing that only now ? And you're strangely calm about it.”

“Well, I mean … your sofa is a lot more comfortable than mine after all.”

Nico chuckles and turns his head for a moment, to devour him with his eyes, just a quick spark, before focusing on the road again.

“We're not going to my place.” the older one adds in a small voice “But I was planning to take you to a place to eat.”

“Oh ?”

He continues to observe the features of the other German, waiting for him to express himself further. They get along well after all and have been out to eat together before. Why so suddenly though ? And why does it seem different ?

“I discovered this restaurant not so long ago, I thought I had to take you here.”

“You thought of me ?”

“Is this so shocking ?”

They are in a car, between four walls. There is no place to go away or to run away. He is left to fully feel all the emotions that circulate between them, this bond which tightens. For once. He cannot escape. It's almost unbearable to be so close and not being able to do anything to avoid it. 

They care about each other. It’s not a secret, it’s no longer a secret. Their relationship has evolved steadily all this time. They are no longer who they were at the start of the year, at the start of the season, and that's the truth.

“No, I guess not.”

The journey takes them a bit outside the city. Right on the edge. There is a small restaurant, the front of which is made of wood and lit by numerous garlands. A rustic side, so different from what they are used to, from the places a bit too chic they often went to, he trusts his friend who still doesn’t let go of his wrist.

Once they're led to the table, he understands why Nico wanted to bring him here. The view is absolutely splendid on the horizon. Slightly raised above sea level, there are a few rocks visible on the wave which takes on the colors of the sky. Blue but also all shades of pink, orange and red. The sun is setting. He gasps when he sees the star resting on the sea, seeming to melt towards the center of the earth. 

“I knew you would like the view.”

He nods and has trouble taking his eyes off to fall back on his interlocutor. Finally. A beautiful vision for a beautiful vision. He is flabbergasted no matter where he looks. This may be the real trap. 

Nico is absolutely gorgeous in the fading daylight. Slightly leaning forward, there is some visible brilliance in his irises which take on the colors of their surroundings. Blue but also all shades of joy, passion and desire. The sun is setting. He gasps when he sees the emotions entangled in his gaze, seeming to show more than he says.

“You were right.” he just smiles.

They order wine and throughout the meal, there is always this connection, this connection that they never evoke but which is there. A bound, taking more and more importance. They can smell it, they would have to be blind not to see it. 

The sun ends up being replaced by the moon. Luminosity lower, the fairy lights now are working. As for outside, the view, this time, it's a multitude of galaxies reflected on the water that take on a dark hue, the only lights there, on the skyline, are the stars shining above their heads.

There are so many unspoken things floating around them, between them, like they need more, like they want more. 

And to him, it looks like a promise.

Of what does not exist now, but of what could be. No, of what will be, of what will happen in the future.

* * *

When the season restarts, nothing has really changed. It's always the same jokes and the same atmosphere between them. Between a real tension and a friendship that is forming. Or something like that. He guesses it’s something like that.

But when Nico meets his teammate in the paddock, alongside Lewis, as so often, it never changes, they exchange a knowing look and a smile.

A relationship doesn't fade away like that, and neither does it happen in the blink of an eye. For the moment, he is content to be out of the equation, to be the variable of a relation which has not taken a name.

They still have time ahead of them.

Lewis was there before and it's not something he can change. Never something he can change. But he felt the inextricable and inexplicable importance he took in Nico's eyes. And he also felt the inextricable and inexplicable importance that Nico took in his eyes.

It's not clear and he finds himself struggling with this feeling more often than he should. He's not ready to screw it up yet.

Will he even be ready one day ?

* * *

Nicolas Rosberg is the first of the two to win a championship. Of course. Despite better control of the car, at the point where they fight on the track, his teammate had the start of the year in his favor. 

He applauds and accepts the embrace, even goes to meet the other German, rather satisfied to be able to stand on this podium with him. To be able to celebrate directly with him.

He feels the older man's lips drop to his neck and he takes a deeper breath, struggling to believe what just happened. Didn't he just imagine this contact after all ?

He remains strangely frozen in place and sees Lewis congratulating Nico in the same way. But the hug seems shorter and less intimate, and his thoughts blur. Something heavy in his chest.

And is it jealousy tugging at his heart ? He has no right to be jealous, none. And not a single reason.

The champagne flows over them and he sprays his teammate without respite, smiling at him and Nico seems strangely happy, relaxed to have him in front of him.

He looks at the day which is fading. They stand on top of the world and they feel like giants, even though they are only little things left, even though they are few things that can end at one point or another. So quick. Time is unforgiving after all.

That leaves him to fear the following year and all those to come. He's supposed to be pretty visionary and care about the future seeing it as a victory. He has to win, after all, he has to win. So he has to think of the future as a win.

He wants to believe the promises that Nico offered him at the beginning, when they were still nothing in terms of relationship, when it came about each other. But he has the feeling that everything could collapse, that an abyss will eventually form between them.

Until it can no longer be crossed or filled.

* * *

The following year is, as Nico could have guessed, more complicated. 

The rivalry begins to set in between them and he has to restrain himself to avoid hitting his teammate and his pretentious smile. They communicated during the winter break quite often yet, even going so far as to see each other, the change was too sudden for his liking. He can’t even adapt to it, he still wants to arrange things.

Nico looks at him with new eyes and he's not sure he appreciates that either. He is on the verge of feeling offended because if the other German liked him only because he was harmless, he is going to be in strong disagreement with him.

Yet, yet, and yet.

Nico's eyes continue to follow him through the rooms, continue to roam his body and his eyes, the same look as last year, the same adoration and surprise with every step that is taken.

What has changed then ?

They don't talk about it, not yet. Maybe that’s the real problem. The shyness floating between them never went away. Even if they manage to be more or less comfortable in the presence of the other, it is always so hard to approach each other, apparently.

And he has not lost his ability to destabilize Nico. Just like Nico did not lose his. Their game is organized around who can impress the other the most. Who can take the most advantage of the situation. He is clearly more disillusioned with life than his teammate.

For once he is the one having a head start.

Or maybe it's something else entirely.

Maybe it's that he already expected so much from Nico, at the base, because he didn't want to believe it, to believe in him but in this case, that would also mean that Nico doesn’t expect much of him and he doesn't know what's the most painful.

* * *

He finds himself, strangely, on Nico's sofa, so comfortable!, on a Monday evening. The invitation struck him as strange, but the meal that awaited him made him shut up quickly. His teammate has excellent culinary tastes. That’s a fact.

Especially after he stole the victory from the other German. After a difficult battle on track. He was expecting everything except an overpriced dinner with good alcohol.

Even if, in this case, his interlocutor seems to have had one too many drinks. He might have seen him drink flutes of champagne and flutes of wine after another, he would not have believed it would be to the point of being tipsy. 

He frankly doesn’t understand the reason for his invitation. Why is he even here ? He doesn’t know what to do. He has personally succeeded in removing all traces of alcohol from the living room in which they are sitting.

Nico, once again, is magnificent. His hair is messy, a blonde lock falling in front of his eyes, his cheeks are flushed and his shirt is undone, open with one button too many at his collar.

“A law is a law only if you know it exists. Ignorance will save me from prison.”

He raises an eyebrow, setting his glass of water on the table, weighing the pros and cons of whether or not it's worth arguing with someone who isn't sober. He can’t bring himself not to answer.

“Ok, first of all, no, that's not how it works. And then what do you want to do that would make you end up in jail ?”

“Kill you, honestly.” Nico looks sulky.

“Everyone knows that murder is not legal.” a break then he adds, more hesitantly “There was nothing in my food, hey ?”

“Do you know how hard it is to have food of this quality, I spent so much time in … I called so many … I thought you weren't going to come.”

The confession is surprisingly sweet. The pride of his teammate would probably have prevented him from saying that or at least in that tone. He smiles, moved, almost in spite of himself. 

“As if you could live without me.”

“You disturb me so much ! Again ! I thought I had solved the Hulkenberg mystery and had arrived at the end of my troubles, but not at all ! I never get to know what you are thinking.”

“Listen Nico, I-”

Nico grabs him by the collar and pushes him further against the sofa, thighs on either side of his knees, his pelvis resting a little too close to his, his breath close to his lips. They are much too close. Why, what. His brain can’t seem to work. The smell of alcohol brings him back to reality once again but also feels intoxicating in a way.

Their eyes meet and it almost seems time freezes around them. What is going on ? His mind can't even realize. This is too much. The older man's voice is hoarse as he lets out another tirade :

“I don't want to lose you.”

Then Nico shoves his face in his neck, body relaxed against his, almost a little too heavy, arms now around his shoulders, like a vice, as if to implore him to stay. An echo that repeats itself in his ears. Because there was real, palpable desperation. And he can’t forget it.

It doesn't take long before he realizes his teammate has fallen asleep against him. He sighs, hesitating as to what to do next.

Nico is not light but he might be able to carry him, somehow. The hardest part is probably going to be getting up. He tries to stay solid on his feet but still wobbles slightly on his first attempt. The other German is wrapped around him. He never really carried an adult. It's weird and difficult and he bangs into doors trying to get through them.

When he lays his host down on his bed, he lets out a relieved sigh. He hesitates for a moment, because he doesn't want to make the situation any weirder or more awkward than it is and just pulls the blanket over Nico, still dressed in cloth pants and a shirt. 

He needs to change his mind. He needs to think of anything other than the way his heart was beating so painfully in his chest, as wanting to escape. The way he hoped, hoped so much, that his lips came to rest on his. His darkest desire, maybe the one he couldn’t admit to himself.

He rummages in the kitchen, finds doliprane and fills a glass with tap water before placing it all on Nico's bedside table.

When leaving, he takes care to close the door gently, so as not to wake his teammate.

* * *

The tension between them is growing too quickly, surely. Nico doesn't necessarily think about it but he just feels it. In the air. It’s happening. The hand of his sidekick which tightens behind his back and his questioning gaze that he surprises on him each time.

They don't talk about the evening again and maybe that's the whole point. Maybe that’s the whole problem.

Maybe it has the potential of a bomb, ready to explode anytime between them.

But he doesn't know how to approach the subject anyway. There is no good way to approach it so he prefers to be silent. Not to be ridiculous. And considering that his teammate doesn't put in more effort, he decides not to worry more about this whole thing.

Big mistake.

For several reasons, that sounds like one. It's never good to keep such an atmosphere between them, knowing that they work in the same team, that they are in daily contact with each other, it creates sparks. This is why he suspects that everything will not remain so simple.

Everything is not simple in itself.

But he feels it can get even worse. Well, much worse. More than to see where their new limits are.

* * *

If there is one thing that both Nico hate, it's being mistaken for the other. They are their own person, thank you very much. Joining the same team may have been a fatal mistake then, but nothing could have predicted that it could be so confusing for others. Nicknames also exist. In short, there is not just one way to differentiate them.

Nico Hulkenberg, in this press conference, regrets in this case not to have taken any other team or blames the person who sent him with his teammate to answer the journalists. It's almost painful at this point. He hesitates between fun and annoyance. Beside him, Nico looks on the verge of a nervous breakdown, although he does hide it with a polite smile. As always. What a perfect actor.

Another proof that he got to know him better. It has become much easier to know the true feelings of his teammate, beyond anything he wants to show. It’s something to be used to his advantage too.

“A question for Nico.”

They both lift their head simultaneously, finding themselves facing a stammering reporter, his papers in hand.

“Which ?”

“German …”

A failure.

“Last name ending in Berg …” 

The reporter continues to mumble something that is not audible but he is pretty sure it is  _ blond with blue eyes _ before recovering and shaking his head.

“For both.”

Who the question was originally for, they'll probably never know and he suppresses a growl of exasperation. Why not just say their names in full in this case ? It’s so simple, hundredth of ways to do that. Why ?

Nico at his side probably shares his feelings since he sends him an almost murderous look, seeming to want at all costs to leave this session.

“I let you answer it, Nico ?” he blurts out, nonchalantly.

“Oh no, you can go Hulk.” resumes his teammate with a polite smile that is more of a threat than real politeness.

They could play this game for a long time.

* * *

Or not.

He contemplates their two cars. They crashed into each other. It probably had to happen someday, he hadn't expected it to be so soon. He runs a hand over his face, not knowing what to say. Even outraged that this situation had happened. Tired and angry.

He tried to overtake, Nico moved. For him, the analysis is done. Toto looks at them as soon as they are back in the garage. He has not yet heard a word from his teammate but when the latter starts to blame him he has a very strong desire for murder.

They do neutral interviews, the instructions having been given, they want to keep their job. But the tension has indeed reached another level. He is sure he can touch it with his fingertips because he feels it so much. Shivering on his skin.

They need to clear this up.

“I didn't think I had to do this, I thought you were old enough.” Begins Toto, clearly disappointed with what just happened “But I'm going to have to institute stricter team rules apparently.”

They protest against this but today's accident does not prove them right at all. On the contrary, it only brings up to date the problems that their partnership brought about and what they still have not resolved.

The fact that it was their fault yes. But of both. They are the ones who did it all wrong. Neither is more to blame, there is a clear lack of communication. How silly and how he hates this whole situation.

He still can't bring himself to hate Nico, though.

* * *

He could say that Nico is the first to attack him and that he is only defending himself. Maybe that's what he should ask for as an epitaph. At least that would be true. Very true.

“At least I didn't ruin the work of the team by attempting an impossible maneuver.” Nico throws him with bitterness and anger.

He is at least satisfied that they are not in public but indeed in his driver room. It could have been worse. It could have ruined every effort of their team to meager the conflict.

“Impossible maneuver or rather maneuver that was possible and that you could not let happen ?” he laughs, without more tact “What, now that I'm a threat, you can't let me finish a race ? Scared of losing, Rosberg ?”

The other German turns red. His whole face takes on a red tint, stung largely by what he has just heard. They're probably peaking in imbecility but he's not ready to calm down. He's not ready to come down. Not when the situation is that way. He's not the one who owes an apology, he didn't do anything wrong, they weren't even playing the victory damn !

“I will destroy you !” Nico growls, enraged.

He doesn’t respond to this statement, content to watch the sinking of his teammate. How he sinks into a sea of anger and blame. And, strangely, watching this from afar, he detaches himself from the situation.

And the rage he wanted to keep with him evaporates to bring him more calm, poise. It’s like he gets his head out of water.

“And I will destroy everything you love.”

He takes a deeper breath. Surely the madness of the situation, the fact that he doesn’t have much to lose from this relationship which is already in tatters, but in any case, he doesn’t hold back his words. For once.

“I love you.”

Nico's mouth opens wide as he remains frozen for a few seconds, seeming to process the information he has just received.

He himself finds it hard to believe what he has just said. Because it wasn't supposed to come out like this or now, but he feels oddly relieved. His heart beats at his temples and the reaction is long overdue. Did he ruin everything ? 

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah.”

“You … you  _ love me _ ? I ? Why ? I… how ?”

“Damn it, Nico, I clearly didn't choose those feelings.”

“Oh uh yes.”

A sigh escapes him. Well, it's not as bad as he thought. He shrugs his shoulders, not really caring about the fallout from this confession. Because adding embarrassment to the tension between them doesn't seem like much, not of great importance anyway. It was already bad before.

“Well, that's clearly a no. I'll leave you, we probably have things to do.”

He runs a hand through his hair, suppressing another sigh. They are in his room, but that's okay. He can always go for a walk, while Nico leaves the room.

His hand finds the handle a little too easily.

“Shit.”

The exclamation surprises him. Then Nico grabs his wrist to bring him back to him and kisses him without any hesitation. He moans into the kiss, struggling to believe what is happening. It's too much indecision at once. They are not sure what they are doing, but they are doing it. He is of a certain indecision.

He pushes against his teammate, reversing their positions, then dominating the kiss and feels how the older one melts against his grip and lets himself go. He slips one leg between those of the other German who lets him do so, breathing heavily against him.

They're both out of breath. The fiery exchange leaves them speechless, unable to speak, stuck in the present moment and in the emotions they feel.

The Hulk fucks Nico slowly, with passion, against the wall of his room, not even thinking that anyone entering the room could see them.

And while his lover rests in his arms, his eyelashes still wet, his cheeks pink, undone, totally, in total loss of control, he says to himself that he has never seen such a beautiful vision.

* * *

And they do it again often. 

As if a secret deal had been made between them. As if they suddenly decided this would be the kind of relationship they should have. In his house, in Nico's, in England, in Monaco, even once in Germany … 

They get along better, the strange tension between them has disappeared and their behavior on the track is really affected. It's cleaner. They are unlikely to crash into each other again and that bodes well. 

Nico lets himself go in his embrace without ever fearing him and this control he has over him seems almost strange to him. 

But the smile on his teammate's lips never goes away. Against him. And the spark persists. That spark that told him everything he wanted to know. These words, these feelings, this interest. Everything they can’t say out loud but only express with their bodies.

He doesn't want to name this relationship because he's scared. He's terrified. But he also knows how toxic it is to them.

They have everything of a romantic relationship, probably without the name.

* * *

Lewis walks into the room where they are both with a smile that freezes on his features as he notices the atmosphere. Nico looks down, concentrating on his phone and his phone only without worrying about his teammate, a few feet away from him.

“Wait, what's up guys ? I thought you were friends ?”

The other German looks at him intently, his face empty of emotion, speaking with a tone worthy of a dramaturgy :

“I just discovered that when you realize that you don't mean enough to someone for them to ower their pride and accept their mistakes, then he's not worth your time.”

Lewis pauses, taking a closer look at the situation, before frowning and resuming,

“Isn't it because he ate the last cookie instead ?”

The empty dish is placed in the middle of the table, facing them, crisp, clear and precise.

“It was mine !”

“I …” the Brit shakes his head “I'll be waiting for you outside, Nico.”

Lewis leaves as quickly as he entered. The silence between them stretches and he sighs softly. He slowly approaches his teammate.

“Forgive me, Nico ? Nicky ? My love ?”

He sees the other German bite the inside of his cheek to hide the smile that is about to mark his features. Nicknames aren't what they use the most. They are even pretty rare and it sounds fun in his mouth. But also sweet. Things he isn’t used to.

He sits next to his lover and kisses his neck gently, leaving a trail of kissing and feels Nico struggling gently under his embrace.

“Stop, stop ! OK I forgive you.”

He smiles, amused, and this time kisses the older one on the lips. Soft. Although they both seem to cling to it a little more than they should.

“Come on, you should go or Lewis will wait for you.”

Nico pouts and stands up, collecting his things, scattered around them. It's always impressive how his teammate loosens up in their relationship, ceasing to want to achieve perfection, realizing that he wants him the way he was, real and true.

“See you later, honey.”

His compatriot freezes in his tracks, before turning around and approaching him, with determination. They exchange another kiss, again short, but intense, and, barely far from his lips, his lover whispers :

“See you later, Nicolas.”

His heart seems to want to come out of his chest. And he watches, dumbfounded, his companion rush out of the room.

* * *

The break is coming quickly. Mid-season. Nico has to refrain from looking at the newspaper articles because the pressure is starting to get too much. It begins to weigh him down. It shouldn’t be possible, it shouldn’t happen. He doesn't want to admit it, he doesn't want to admit it to anyone, he doesn't want to sound ridiculous but it’s the truth.

Either way, Nico Rosberg has taken the lead in the championship race again.

And the article titles multiply asking if he is good enough to have his place in this team, to be an interesting opponent against the other German. He can't say how much it hurts him and hurts his confidence. Coming into the team and last year he spent time looking for his place, looking to adjust and his efforts seem far from enough. He did so much and it’s not fucking enough.

His day is bad and is not over yet. He can't say how tired he is and he never gets to know what Toto is thinking and the negotiations for the contracts should soon fall off and if it was true and he just wasn't good enough-

“ _ Nico ? _ ”

Their daily amount of calls and he already feels sick just pretending that everything is fine with his lover. His lover who is the cause of all his problems. As always since he joined the team.

“Yeah, I … yeah.”

His computer in front of him and it's probably gossip but it's just too much for him now. Tears roll down his cheeks before he even thinks of it. He’s already too worn out on the inside and he hasn't hit a quarter of his goals. Sometimes he wonders how others are doing around him. He tries so hard, he tried so hard.

“ _ Nico ? Nico, what's going on ?” _

It's just too much. Even the concern dripping from his teammate's voice can't do anything and sharpens his nerves the wrong way.

“Shut up, Rosberg ! I'm fine, I'm fine !” he tries to move forward with confidence but the words come out choked, almost stuck in his throat. Tears continue on their way as the phone sinks into his palm, leaving red marks. “It's the truth, I can do it, I can do it ! I don't need anybody, damn it, I don't need you !”

The silence lengthens and he feels pathetic. The fire of his anger is already over. He better hang up before embarrassing himself more but then- then Nico speaks again in a soft, tender voice, without any animosity behind-

“ _ I'll be there in five minutes, okay ? _ ”

His voice cracks then, a barrier gives way and her sobs redouble.

“Please, Nico, I need …”

He can't say it out loud.

“ _ I know, my love, I know. I come to you, wait a little longer, I'm on my way. _ ”

* * *

When Nico arrives, he hasn't moved. He is still on the couch, tears streaming in despair and bearing desires and wishes he can neither express nor recognize. He never let those out.

His lover wraps him in a strong embrace, closing both arms around him. A sense of security he hasn't felt for too long. Everything was too much. And it's hard to live with and admit. He didn't want to call for help, he didn't want to be weak when everyone around him seemed so strong. He wanted to be better.

“Hush, I'm here, Nicolas, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Everything will be alright.”

“I thought … I thought you went to Switzerland with Lewis …” 

A  _ without me _ struggles not to cross his lips. Nico kisses his wet cheeks with unparalleled softness. Tender and softer than ever.

“I felt something was wrong, I did the right thing staying.”

“You shouldn't have … you shouldn't deprive yourself because of me …”

He shivers, as if taken with a great cold, the fatigue even more deadly. These are the kinds of shivers that seem to come from inside his body. Terribly unpleasant and against which he cannot fight. Impossible to fight.

“You were more important than a vacation !” a deep breath “Damn you … you were more important than Lewis.”

He almost chokes on his own sobs. What ? 

“Yes I love you too, idiot. Although I thought it was pretty clear after we had sex more than once.”

“So …” he walks forward, hesitating “What's in store for us ? A relationship ? A couple ?”

Nico pulls back slightly but he doesn't let him do it, getting closer, not detaching himself. Worse yet, hugging him more, keeping him in his arms. Now that he has him by his side, he doesn’t want to let go. He wants to keep him here forever.

“If you want me, then yes.” the other German mumbles and, damn it, he needs to see his face, he needs to see the face he's making.

He places both hands on his teammate's cheeks, slipping part of a previous unfinished conversation between them, and sees how hesitation marks his features, how unsure he is of his actions. Why is it always more delicate when it concerns them ?

“Yeah. Yes I want you, Nico Rosberg.”

Nico laughs but his eyes shine a little too much for it to be normal then they kiss before returning to one of their favorite positions, against each other.

“Don't tell Lewis I told you that, though, he would take it badly.”

He shrugs, too busy enjoying the moment.

* * *

When he wakes up, Nico by his side, in his bed, he has trouble believing it. He wants to keep him in his arms forever. He just feels better having him by his side and that's for sure. That’s a certainty. He tries to pull away slowly but the other German protests softly in his arms.

“Sorry my love.”

He kisses the top of his lover's head before getting up and slowly walking towards the kitchen. He begins to prepare breakfast vigorously, the radio to his right at low volume. The perfect mood, the perfect morning.

While he is cooking the eggs, he turns around and finds Nico in the doorway, simply leaning, watching him do it, an infinite tenderness in his eyes. 

**“See you in the market place**

**Walking around at 8 AM**

**Got two hours before my flight**

**Luck be on my side tonight”**

“Do you mind giving me a hand ?” he asks, amused.

As if out of his trance, his companion shakes his head and comes to meet him. Two in the kitchen, moving almost in unison. He knows he could get used to it. He might get used to it a little too easily. He wants to get used to it.

For most of the locations, Nico asks him or searches relentlessly, looking for the missing elements and he smiles, thinking that one day they would know these locations by heart. One like the other. Somewhere, maybe in a house that will be theirs.

**“You're the reason that I feel so strong**

**The reason that I'm hanging on**

**You know you gave me all that time**

**Did I give enough of mine”**

He is the first to start setting the table once he has turn off the heat under the pan. His guest doesn’t take long to do the same, following his moves, the two of them are much faster and they are soon finished, settling down facing each other. In relative silence. 

There are details he wants to come back to, beyond the clanking noise of fork and knife against the porcelain, details of the previous evening.

“So you didn't go on vacation with Lewis ?”

Nico seems embarrassed upon hearing this, confessing only half a word :

“I was going to go. I just wanted to call you first. And I … I then preferred to cancel. I had to do so.”

**“Hold on, darling**

**This body is yours, this body is yours and mine**

**Hold on my darling**

**This mess was yours, now your mess is mine**

**Your mess is mine**

**Your mess is mine”**

“What ? Why ? You're sure you don't want to leave, I don't want to …”

“No, Hulk, I meant what I said yesterday. I prefer, I have to take care of you and now … now that you are indeed mine, there is no way I will leave you now.”

He lowers his head to hide the blushes that dot his cheeks. The surprise almost leaves him speechless. It's too much. He doesn't even know if he's ready to talk even if it was undeniable that he needed someone, that he needed Nico. 

His boyfriend.

Damn, this is his boyfriend. His breath is racing net just at the thought, just at this affirmation. This is what they are.

**“Bring me to your house and tell me**

**Sorry for the mess," Hey I don't mind "**

**You're talking in your sleep, out of time**

**Well you still make sense to me, your mess is mine”**

The hand of Nico lands on his and their eyes mingle, merge.

“We have all the time in the world to talk about it, but what is certain is that I will be by your side, okay ?”

“But how …” his voice is hoarse “How can you be sure it's going to work, how can you be sure we’re not just going to tear ourselves apart ?”

“You can't be. But if we both make an effort, we should be able to.”

He is always more pessimistic, more worried. And maybe somehow it saved him from disillusionment until today but it's not what they need. They need hope and they need to believe in it. They need more and he is afraid of the future again. It had some surprises for him but also some bad surprises.

He is afraid that these beautiful quiet mornings will turn into storms and thunderstorms and that nothing remains of what they once were.

“Give us a chance, please.” Nico asks him, and he almost implores him.

**“Your mess is mine**

**This body is yours and this body is mine**

**Your mess is mine**

**Your mess is mine”**

* * *

After that, the moments multiply between them but for better reasons. A couple. They have to pretend their best in front of the cameras and they keep poking and teasing each other, but anyone can notice that their relationship has improved in one way or another. It’s for the best, they ignore every single question about it.

Toto raises his eyebrows when he sees them, but deep down Nico is sure he knows. He always knows.

Little routines and they can't avoid arguments, they do their best to keep what happens in the race away from their relationship, even if it isn't always easy.

Especially when it comes to the success of the other at the expense of theirs. You have to know how to rejoice for the other and savor his victories as if they were his own, it is not easy to do. It is never easy to do, especially here, with their career.

“You are really …!”

Tension in the room. Nico gives him a cold, angry look. His overtaking was clean, but a podium is a podium. And it’s a line that is written down, it’s a bit of glory less to take.

He sits down. He needs to manage things peacefully and if he loses his temper, it's the end. Even if it's easier said than done. The other German is supposed to be the one with the most composure between them and it was he who found himself managing the conflicts. Most of the time. 

“I can't believe you did this. The team strategy was clear, I'm sure you did something behind my back, it's really impossible, I should have been there and you just-”

“Did I ever told you how beautiful you are when you are angry ?” he begins, a sudden inspiration “Your disheveled hair and upset look are incredibly entertaining, especially the way your locks fall on your forehead. Oh and your eyes. Your eyes shine with a light, a flame that you never know how to restrain, that you never restrain. To worry only about you … really magnificent.”

“You-”

Nico stops, baffled by his long tirade. He sees it by his bewildered look, his eyes wide open.

“I …”

He opens his arms and offers an insistent gaze at his boyfriend who sighs but comes to lose himself in the embrace.

“You're amazing. I can't believe you did this.” the other German mutters against his neck.

He just smiles.

“It can't work every time.” weakly adds his boyfriend.

But it works.

Because, no matter how hard Nico tries to prepare to be interrupted, he's full of imagination and always manages to find a loophole, something. He has always been better at surprising him than his partner.

* * *

“I swear that Nico is a horrible person ! He hasn't changed at all since I first met him.”

Who knew he would one day find himself in front of Lewis looking for the gossips ? Not him anyway. It’s so strange, so unexpected. He doesn't even know how it happened, he was at Nico's, ready to go, when the Briton appeared. He played the host, meanwhile, and the other pilot didn't ask any questions.

He takes a sip of coffee. Lewis is almost enough to make conversation on his own, with an amused smile, a little too comfortable in a house that is not his. Probably. Even if he is no longer jealous. He has no longer a reason to be.

“And maybe that's why he hasn't been able to keep a stable relationship in his life.”

He almost chokes on his drink. He coughs, searching for air. If he wanted to act as if nothing had happened, it’s a failure.

“Y-Yeah, you're probably right.”

But a whole different smile took place on the lips of the older man who leans forward, his eyes shining with interest. And suddenly he's a little scared.

“I was sure of it. That Nico was hiding something. But to think that something would be you, Nico Hulkenberg. I'm almost upset that he didn't tell me.”

“I …what ?”

“I hadn't planned on coming to see Nico. If I came today it was to see you. I needed confirmation and you gave it to me, thank you.”

Lewis nods, finishing his cup of coffee in one gulp, before getting up and collecting his things. On the doorstep, he turns around, smiling brightly at him, pleased with himself.

“Have a great end of afternoon, Hulk, see you later !”

He stays in the living room - which still isn't his but is starting to take it as, should he ask Nico to move in together so they would only have one rent when they're in the UK? - strangely stunned.

He got screwed.

But the worst part is that he did almost nothing ?

* * *

Later, huddled in the sofa, Nico against him, watching some movie, he wonders whether or not he should talk to his boyfriend about it. Seriously, how do you approach the subject ? He has no idea. He bites his lip.

“What's going on, Nicolas ?l

He blinks at this and his mate shifts slightly so he can look him in the eye. Blue, so blue. Lately, he can read through him better and better.

“Something is clearly bothering you for a while now.”

“Oh uh …” he lowers his head “Lewis might know about us. He came here this afternoon.”

“In England ?”

The last question is superfluous since that is where they are after all. He feels like he's waiting for a sentence, waiting for something, almost desperately. He is worried. He doesn't know what the other German thinks about the situation, what he feels about all of this. 

But the latter is content to let out a small laugh, shaking his head, more amused than offended or angry. It makes him relax significantly.

“I feel like he's not going to stop rambling about it. What a little …” 

“Aren't you angry ?”

“What ? No, at all, just … I wanted to give us time, to give you time. I know we haven't talked about it, but you might not be comfortable with the idea of people knowing about us …”

It makes sense. That doesn't mean he agrees. Well, it’s rather that they have not spoken about it but he is ready to do a lot of things with, for Nico. It's always the same thing, it hasn't changed since they've known each other.

The silence that floats between them seems to be misinterpreted as his other half looks down. He hurries to take his face in his hands, imploring him almost to look at him, especially not to turn away from the subject which is being put on the table.

“No ! No, Nico, I … honestly, if it was just me, I would go overboard. So that the whole world knows that you are mine. I think … I want to introduce you to my parents. I want them to know about us. I want to be able to be free and I want to be able to tell you that I love you when I want to. There are a lot of things that I want … and that are probably not achievable, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it more than anything.”

“Yeah, that's … that's what I thought to myself. I thought I could feel it clearly, which I have never felt with anyone and we started off pretty badly, it's funny. And yet, and yet I want you by my side and that has never changed. It's the only constant thing on my mind, don't believe the words I say in anger, I'm an idiot, I …”

“You get carried away. Just like I do. F1 matters to us and that's normal, it's a part of our lives, it's what makes us who we are. I would never blame you for that.”

Nico leans forward to give him one of the best kisses of his life. They move, one against the other, always seeking more contact. Always, always more. They love each other, it's true. They love each other, their hearts seem to cry it out. And if it was a real noise, no doubt the whole world would hear it.

He runs his hands through his lover's hair and this one protests vaguely, weakly against his lips. He is happy that they are sitting, he is not sure that his legs could have carried him until the end of this kiss. 

When they break away, they don't dare to stray too far. Nico leans his forehead against his, a more symbolic gesture, really. One breath away to dive back into their idyll and forget everything about the outside world.

Here they are, he thinks, here they are the two Mercedes drivers.

He could never have believed that so much was waiting for him when he came here. That he would find the chance of a lifetime but also more, much more. Someone. Maybe that's what he's been waiting for all this time. Someone else, in the middle of this world of perpetual loneliness. The love of a lifetime, as long as it can last.

If its radiance can illuminate them for years or if it must be extinguished after a few seconds.

Nico grabs his hand, a little feverishly, groping to find it, not daring to depart from their situation. Then when he finds it, bringing it to his chest, where his heart beats and beats again.

“You ... Did you say you wanted to introduce me to your parents ?”

He nods slowly, seeing the gentle desperation, that constant need for assertion in the eyes of the one that faces him. Many words that don’t pass his lips. Who could do it though.

_ Oh, Nicolas Rosberg, what wouldn't I do for you ? _

* * *

When Nicolas Hülkenberg wins the world championship for the first time, it’s after a close fight with his teammate. Several pilots come to congratulate him, the joy present on his features is marked, tears shine in his eyes.

And Nico Rosberg ... Nico stands by his side throughout the ceremony, following him on the podium, spraying him with champagne and cheering him, without a trace of bitterness being visible on his features. 

And as they exchange a hug, before the eyes of the whole world, too close to the podium, the trophy, the other people, no one knows the words they say to each other, but their smile after this conversation is only more visible.

**Author's Note:**

> Crazy, funny project indeed. Writing on rare pairs always have such a taste ! Everything has to be made and to be created, I tried my best here ... to embody both characters, hope it was pleasant to read.   
> Such a long story ... I'm almost sad to put an end to this adventure, I'm happy to have taken you all with me, thanks for having read this.
> 
> tumblr : laeana


End file.
